Kumiko (00:02.604)
Welcome to the Miko Love Podcast. I'm your host, Kumiko Love. And when I'm not educating about personal finance as the budget mom, I'm here diving into the exploration of my own passions and exploring a range of captivating topics. It's time to dive into conversations that ignite curiosity and inspire. Welcome to the Miko Love Podcast. I'm your host, Kumiko Love. And today we're going to be having a conversation that I feel is pretty overdue. One that really digs underneath

this kind of Pinterest perfect quotes and the viral Instagram posts about financial freedom. And it asks a much deeper question. What does financial freedom really mean? And what are we getting wrong about it? Because here's the truth. A lot of people out there are chasing someone else's version of freedom and it keeps them stuck, overwhelmed, kind of burnt out and emotionally exhausted from really just trying to get there.

So let's talk about why. One of the biggest mistakes we make about financial freedom is that we treat it like it's some kind of destination. Like it's this final stop you reach after checking all these boxes, debt-free, house paid off, fully funded emergency fund, right? Retirement accounts maxed out. We treat it like it's some magical point in the future where everything suddenly feels really calm, secure, joyful, but that's a myth.

And chasing that myth is costing people more than they realize. Now, I used to think that financial freedom was something that you arrived at, a destination that you reached after you did all of these things like paying off your debt or saving a certain amount or having your emergency fund, buying a home, investing every month, staying disciplined, staying frugal and intentional.

I built my entire budgeting method, the budget by paycheck method around clarity and control because for a really long time, that's what I needed to survive. But even when I started hitting all of those goals, something didn't just sit right with me. I never really liked the words financial freedom. I still felt pressure. Even after reaching my goals, I still felt fear. I still felt like I wasn't doing enough.

Kumiko (02:26.88)
And that's when I kind of realized that I had spent so long chasing this idea of financial freedom that I never really stopped to ask what it looked like for me. That's what this episode is about because I've learned something really powerful. Freedom doesn't start with a dollar amount. It starts with truth. Now you don't have to look far to find a definition of financial freedom. It's really everywhere.

early retirement, seven figures invested, luxury vacations, passive income from multiple streams, this kind of digital nomad lifestyle, beachfront Airbnb is quitting your nine to five, never having to answer to anyone ever again. But when we take those curated definitions and apply them to our real lives, we often end up feeling like failures, not because we're not successful, but because we're using someone else's metric.

to measure our happiness. Now, social media, my gosh, it thrives on extremes. The loudest, most dramatic, most polished stories go viral, but really those stories aren't always true, or they're only half the truth. No one's showing you the trade-offs. No one's telling you that the person who quit their job to live on a beach has a trust fund.

No one's talking about the couple that reached financial independence at 35, but is quietly miserable because they never learned how to feel safe. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with these really big goals or that there's people out there who haven't reached them in the best way. But when you borrow someone else's dream without checking in with your own values, you end up really disconnected.

You build a life that looks good from the outside, but doesn't feel good on the inside. You really start believing that financial freedom is about having more hustle now, rest later. If you're not there yet, you're behind. That's not freedom. I really feel that's this kind of new kind of trap. So I want to ask you something. Have you ever hit a financial goal and felt like nothing?

Kumiko (04:53.216)
Like not happiness, not successful, not joy, but like nothing, right? You thought you'd feel something like relief, pride, excitement. And instead it was just kind of this, another goal, another number. That's what happens when your goals aren't connected to your actual values. It's like you're checking off all these things, but you're really not getting anything from it. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is treating financial freedom like it has

a universal definition and it doesn't and it can't and it never will because we all come from different backgrounds. We carry different wounds. have different needs, different dreams, different responsibilities. That's why defining financial freedom for yourself, it's not just important. It's essential. When you don't define it, the world will define it for you. And I promise the world's version will always ask for more.

more hustle, more sacrifice, more proof, more status, but your version, that could look like a simple life, a small home, a modest income that supports your mental health, being debt-free, even if it means never being a millionaire, having time with your kids, having healthy boundaries, sleeping at night, whatever it is, you have to name it. You have to claim it. You have to protect it. Now,

We don't just bring these spreadsheets and calculators and budget templates into our financial journeys and lives. What we actually do bring though is trauma. We bring different stories. We bring fear. I talk to so many people who are doing everything right. When you see them on paper, it's like they're doing everything right. They're budgeting, they're saving, they're investing, but they still don't feel safe.

And that's because financial trauma doesn't disappear just because you hit a goal. And I really want to break this down. Now, scarcity tells you there's never enough. So even when your needs are met, it kind of whispers in your ear that disaster is coming, that you should keep grinding, keep hoarding just in case. Shame tells you that you're behind, that you should have known better, that other people you're

Kumiko (07:15.299)
age or farther along. makes you feel like your mistakes define you. Now fear tells you to never let go, to never rest, to never enjoy, because if you do, it might all disappear. Now that last one, fear, is something that I've dealt with my entire life, even to this day. These emotional states keep you stuck in this kind of survival mode, even when you've technically arrived.

quote unquote, arrived. They block you from freedom because they make you believe peace has to be earned. That rest really has to be justified. That joy is kind of irresponsible. And until you unpack those beliefs, you're never gonna feel free, no matter how much you have in your bank account or what you're doing with your money. I also wanna talk about the hidden

kind of drivers beneath your money decisions. Now, a lot of people think they're budgeting to be smart or disciplined, but underneath it all, they're budgeting to feel safe because somewhere along the line, they learn that money equals control and control feels like safety. This is especially true for people who grew up without financial security. If your childhood was filled with unpredictability, poverty, instability,

then you may have learned to really cling to control as a survival tool. But control has kind of this dark side as well. If you're not careful, it stops being a tool and it starts being this cage. You become so obsessed with getting every number right that you stop living. You say no to things that bring you joy. You deny yourself rest.

You put off relationships, experiences, and healing until some distant point you deemed quote unquote safe. You lose touch with who you are beyond the budget. And that's where identity really comes in. We form identities around our money. I write, I'm a saver, I'm frugal, I'm a hustler, I'm good with money. And we start making choices

Kumiko (09:38.731)
to protect that identity, even when it no longer serves us. True financial freedom isn't about being in control of every single detail. It's about feeling safe, even sometimes when things aren't going the way you want or the things around you are literally crumbling. It's about knowing that you have your own back, even if a paycheck maybe doesn't come.

or an expense catches you kind of off guard. Because freedom isn't about never being afraid. It's about not letting fear run the show. I mean, and we also have to be real too because freedom doesn't always look like fireworks and big happy explosions, right? It doesn't mean the end of really hard days. It doesn't mean you'll never feel anxious again or never worry about money.

What it does feel like though is options, breathing room, permission. Sometimes financial freedom looks like having the power to say no, maybe to a toxic boss or an employee, saying yes to therapy, even when your family never talked about mental health, covering a vet bill without it completely breaking you.

sending your kid on a field trip without second guessing it or wondering how you're going to pay it off later. Freedom feels like trusting yourself with money. Not because everything is perfect, because you've built a system that aligns with your life, not someone else's version of success. feels like paying your bills with confidence, knowing exactly what's going on with your money. feels like not panicking when your car breaks down. feels like being able to rest like truly

rest without guilt. It's quiet. It's not always flashy. And it might not be something you can post about online, but that doesn't make it any less real. Financial freedom isn't about arriving at some perfect outcome. It's really about creating a life that feels rooted in your values and securing your choices. there were a couple of things that I did in my life where I believe

Kumiko (11:59.153)
I have defined financial freedom and truly have experienced that and kind of have that in my life now. So I want to talk about some action steps because this episode isn't just about awareness. It's also about what you do with that awareness. So here's how to start living your own version of financial freedom. First one is really important, defining enough. What does enough actually look like for you?

Most of the time when I ask clients that, they can't give me an answer. And there's been so many times where clients can't even answer what makes you happy. What does enough actually look like for you? And get specific. That's okay. How much income covers your needs, supports your priorities, and really allows for some joy in there. The next thing is to revisit your goals and really question them. Ask, whose goals are these? What am I trying to prove?

and to whom. Strip the goal down to really its emotional core because sometimes what you'll find is you'll have all these goals written down and when you start going through them you'll realize that's not my goal. The third thing is to create a financial system that really supports your emotional needs not just your financial needs. If you feel restricted how can you create flexibility? Don't build a budget that punishes you

Build one that really honors you. Number four is practice being present with your money. So it's really important to get in our heads that freedom isn't future tense. It's not just someday. Start noticing the small freedoms you've already created, the ones you used to dream about but have now. And if you're just starting this journey and you might be saying, Niko, I don't have those yet, that's okay. Small things.

What's something that you did today that made you feel a little more fulfilled in your life that maybe you didn't do yesterday? And the last one is really celebrating milestones that matter to you. know, paying off $500 of debt is worth celebrating if that was a mountain for you, right? Paying off $100 is worth celebrating. Having a week, you know, where you didn't panic about

Kumiko (14:22.847)
having to go get groceries or maybe have money to do laundry, that counts as a win. I mean, there have been so many times where I added just $5 to my $5 challenge jar and I'll put up on social like this is my win. There's nothing that beats that feeling of knowing that you are taking some small action to get you to a life that you're fighting for, that you want for yourself, the freedom that you've defined for yourself.

Freedom is built in these daily decisions, not just these huge ginormous wins that we see people post about. It's really in how you spend, save, give, and live today as well. Now, the next part is really critical because comparison is a thief. It doesn't just steal your joy, it steals clarity. It makes you doubt what you already have, and it really rewrites your goals in someone else's handwriting.

It's easy to get caught in the algorithm. You see someone buy like their dream house and you suddenly you're perfectly fine home feels really small and not enough. see someone retire early and your 401k balance feels really freaking embarrassing. But none of that means you're doing it wrong or you're behind. You're just seeing a really, really, really small part of someone else's life and comparing it to your entire world.

Now here's a question to come back to over and over. Would I still want this if no one else saw it? The answer is yes, that's your truth. And stay close to that. Keep revisiting that. Let it really evolve. The more aligned your choices are with your real values, the less interested you'll be in someone else's.

life or path. Now there's this sneaky belief that when you finally make a certain amount of money, when the debt is all finally gone, when the savings accounts are finally, you know, are topped out, then you'll feel different in some way. That you'll feel peace, confidence, joy. But here's the kicker. If you don't know how to feel those things now, you probably won't feel them later either.

Kumiko (16:40.529)
That's called the arrival fallacy, to lie that fulfillment is waiting at the end of the journey. But you can learn how to create moments of fulfillment, peace and joy now, before everything is done or perfect. You have to learn how to feel safe while you're still healing, how to feel proud even with progress that still has to be made because

Life doesn't stop giving you challenges just because you checked off all these goals. You don't arrive at freedom. You build it every day. Now, if you've made it to the end of this episode, I want to leave you with this. You don't need permission to redefine what success looks like to you and for you. You don't need to wait for the world to approve your version of freedom.

You are allowed to live a full, joyful, intentional life even if it doesn't look like anyone else's. Let go of the pressure to do it like everyone else and to do it perfectly. Let go of the myth that freedom only belongs to the wealthy. Let go of the timeline that says you're behind. Your story is unfolding exactly as it's meant to. So...

Here is the building of life that feels free in the moments that matter most. One budget, one decision, one truth at a time. So thanks for being here with me today. Until next time.

you are enjoying the podcast, make sure to subscribe, share this podcast with your friends, and leave a review wherever you are listening. Your support helps me reach even more listeners and keeps the conversation going. Until next time, keep feeding your curiosity.